I should be finishing up my tax returns. I should be getting ready to move. I should be calling my university to talk to them about returning to classes during the next winter term. I should be doing laundry. I should be cleaning up my kitchen.
*BONG*
But, in resounding counterpoint to my determination to be productive, a new message from my friend, Jill, clangs noisily down the electronic pipeline and presumptuously rests itself on top of my Facebook timeline.
So a new web series I've been waiting for is out. Just wanted to share. :) https://youtu.be/UkHicPm7C6Q
Before I know it, I've watched the entire season and I am a weepy pathetic mess. Neither of those facts are really too incredible though; Each episode only runs an average of 9.3 minutes, so in the season's entirety, I binged a terribly shocking 55 minutes! Gasp!... And as for the weepy thing... well the show is amazing and it decidedly hit home for me, and probably will for many others.
Aaannd now, be advised, there are some spoilers a-coming. Small ones... If you're trans, you'll probably see them coming anyways... but if you're not, or even if you are and want to be left completely and utterly in the dark about the plot, you have been warned.
In the same vein as shows like Transparent and True Trans, this is a show I'd encourage everyone to take a look at, trans or not, because it spotlights real issues real people have to real with. While granted, it is a fictional story, the dilemmas of the two main trans characters are presented very matter-of-factly, as if they were dealing with losing their car keys again, or getting caught in the rain. While those watching the show may be puzzled as to why such a successful and beautiful woman as Paige--who clearly has no issue blending in--has not had a real date, much less a successful relationship in five years, we continue to watch and scratch our heads at why another woman--Violet--in a clearly strange and abusive relationship, would continue on and even defend her abuser for so long.
These things that just happen within the show are run-of-the-mill in a trans woman's life. It's not drama. Its not drugs. They're not asking for it. It's just this is how things go for so many of us. It doesn't matter if we blend in or not. Any perceived "loose ends" in our transition or in our paperwork always end up getting snagged on something.
Have you ever searched "w4t" on Craigslist or any other personals? I have. I know nothing comes up. Ever. And I also know lesbians don't typically date pre-op trans women either. I love how that is one of the first head-scratching moments the show presents.
Every trans woman, but especially any lesbian or bisexual trans woman, has had the experience of feeling so incredibly accepted by friends they've made in a non-trans community in one instance, but then when it comes to another instance, especially anything involving romance or sex, they are suddenly the freak, the toy, or--at the very best--the token tag-a-long trans friend; You're the girl that makes the other gay girls-and-guys cooler in some strange way, or somehow more LGBT-legit--and that's what you're for. That's the niche you fill--don't go beyond it or else people will back away, and not very slowly.
People don't even seem to realize they act this way, but they do. And it's just a day in the life of an out trans woman.
One other refreshing detail about this miniseries is that the actresses portraying trans women in the show are--get this--actually trans women. I've never been one to harp on shows or movies where this is not the case, and I know there is more of this lately than in the past, but it is always refreshing to see.
As far as production quality, I am going to bring out one negative: the dialog could have been better in several areas. Some of it feels forced, especially in the areas containing romantic banter. Episode three was a little difficult for me to watch, mostly because I just didn't care about the relationship that was supposedly developing under all the cheesy dialog. A decent part of episode three, as well as most of the series is still very gripping though. And if you like cheese--wonderful--expect a platter full of it in episode three.
Episodes four and five--especially five--made me bawl. This, for me, was a personal thing. I am not sure if it would have the same effect on everyone, but at the end of the episode my mind was overthrown in the unwarranted revival of several painful memories. I thought I was fine when the screen went to black, but out of nowhere a shriek burst from my mouth. I just shuddered and cried to myself for... I don't know how long.
It was then I decided that today was the day I would share. Her Story is so many trans women's story, and episode five is definitely a part of my story. I posted about it once in 2014. Then I took it down. I've talked about it with a few people. But not many. I wrote another blog post about it. And then another. And another. I've called the police about it. Twice.
I haven't posted in a while, but I did write a post about this very thing, on Christmas day, that I never posted.
Today.
Well, maybe tomorrow... Or maybe the next day, or sometime after.
Maybe it doesn't need to be out there. Maybe its just enough for me to say that nearly every trans person I know has these types stories. And none of us are really asking for pity, any more than any other victim is asking for pity when they tell their story. We're just asking that the rest of you know, give some thought to it, and stop allowing people excuses to write hurt into other people's narratives.
Luckily, Her Story, season one, resolves on a pretty positive note. What exactly that is--you have to watch it to see. But the show definitely leaves me hopeful, and excited for the next season.