Despite
all the progress that has been made and all of the media coverage trans people
have been getting recently, few people really understand what it means
to be transgender. What constitutes a man? What makes a woman? The
concept of is gender doubly confused and muddled by the reality of
biological sex, and there is, many times, anger and ridicule directed towards
those that try to offer malleability to these ideas. When someone is bold enough to come
out and say, "I am transgender," they often find that people are
misinformed or just plain clueless as to what that really means about
the person. Close friends can suddenly be stand-offish and careers can become jeopardized and life can even become dangerous in some situations. The truth is, it shouldn't really mean much at all.
I am transgender. I have been transitioning, meaning I have been in the process of changing my appearance--my gender expression or how I express my gender--for two years. In fact, one of the reasons I am writing this post is because last month marked my full second year of transitioning. I kind of missed the celebration with all that has been going on lately. So now I say, Yay me!
I have been an advocate for LGBT rights--specifically transgender rights--for much of these two years, both online and locally where I live. Gobs of my time are spent posting blog entries and making videos to help educate people and demystify transgenderism. I am always looking for opportunities to try to help people understand it. In the process they often learn more about themselves.
For instance, when people think of the term "male," they don't typically equate the image that comes to mind with that of a pink floral dress. This is because we typically expect males to be masculine, and females to be feminine. In reality though, we are all just people, and each of us are composed of many different qualities. And any of those qualities could be described as either "masculine" or "feminine" depending on who is perceiving them.
For example, a male that naturally has a higher pitched voice than most other males could be perceived as a "woman" by someone who is on the phone with them, and he might even be called "girly" by people who see him and want to give him hard time. But that male may, and probably does, perceive himself as a man, despite what his voice sounds like to others. It probably tears at his self-worth a little each time he is perceived as anything else.
The point here is that if you come across what appears to you to be a man in a pink floral dress, you should really take some time to think about how that person might be perceiving herself, and how your perception might be the one that needs adjusting, so as to not hurt another person.
Perhaps you are a short man with small, feminine hands that you wish other people would not draw attention to. Or maybe you are a woman with large masculine shoulders that you wish were more narrow. The majority of people are actually very lucky to have only a few traits that relate them with something opposite than what they wish to be known as. Transgender people, unfortunately, tend to have a lot more traits relating them to the opposite gender than to the one they wish to be identified with. However, in the end we are each really just a ratio of masculine to feminine traits, and it is within the thoughts and feelings of each person to know if they are a "man" or a "woman" or even something in between.
If you saw me walking through my college campus or working at my job, you probably wouldn't give me a second glace, since I am almost done transitioning now. I definitely still have both masculine and feminine traits, but that doesn't really matter. And it doesn't matter whether I have feminine ears with masculine eyes, or masculine hands with feminine feet. It doesn't matter if I have broad manly shoulders and petite girly fingers or if I have a manly abdomen and a womanly chest. What really matters is how I perceive myself and how we each perceive ourselves internally. Matching the outside with whats inside is something we all do--whether its through clothing, surgery, or hormones--so that we can live as comfortably as possible among other people.
Me, I try to help others be less confused about this and thus less prone to sadness, violence, and hatred. There are many other things to focus on in this life than what gender another person is presenting, and what you think about how it should be done. We are all the same--all human--and the more we learn about our differences, the more we see those similarities between us. Transgender people continue to be victims of discrimination and violence because being our authentic selves challenge other people's preconceived notions on sex and gender. In fact, in the past I, myself, have been mistreated plenty because of it, both professionally and personally. However my point here is that we all have these transgender qualities to a limited degree, and my struggle and stance has more in common with your own than maybe you might have realized.
I am transgender. I have been transitioning, meaning I have been in the process of changing my appearance--my gender expression or how I express my gender--for two years. In fact, one of the reasons I am writing this post is because last month marked my full second year of transitioning. I kind of missed the celebration with all that has been going on lately. So now I say, Yay me!
I have been an advocate for LGBT rights--specifically transgender rights--for much of these two years, both online and locally where I live. Gobs of my time are spent posting blog entries and making videos to help educate people and demystify transgenderism. I am always looking for opportunities to try to help people understand it. In the process they often learn more about themselves.
For instance, when people think of the term "male," they don't typically equate the image that comes to mind with that of a pink floral dress. This is because we typically expect males to be masculine, and females to be feminine. In reality though, we are all just people, and each of us are composed of many different qualities. And any of those qualities could be described as either "masculine" or "feminine" depending on who is perceiving them.
For example, a male that naturally has a higher pitched voice than most other males could be perceived as a "woman" by someone who is on the phone with them, and he might even be called "girly" by people who see him and want to give him hard time. But that male may, and probably does, perceive himself as a man, despite what his voice sounds like to others. It probably tears at his self-worth a little each time he is perceived as anything else.
The point here is that if you come across what appears to you to be a man in a pink floral dress, you should really take some time to think about how that person might be perceiving herself, and how your perception might be the one that needs adjusting, so as to not hurt another person.
Perhaps you are a short man with small, feminine hands that you wish other people would not draw attention to. Or maybe you are a woman with large masculine shoulders that you wish were more narrow. The majority of people are actually very lucky to have only a few traits that relate them with something opposite than what they wish to be known as. Transgender people, unfortunately, tend to have a lot more traits relating them to the opposite gender than to the one they wish to be identified with. However, in the end we are each really just a ratio of masculine to feminine traits, and it is within the thoughts and feelings of each person to know if they are a "man" or a "woman" or even something in between.
If you saw me walking through my college campus or working at my job, you probably wouldn't give me a second glace, since I am almost done transitioning now. I definitely still have both masculine and feminine traits, but that doesn't really matter. And it doesn't matter whether I have feminine ears with masculine eyes, or masculine hands with feminine feet. It doesn't matter if I have broad manly shoulders and petite girly fingers or if I have a manly abdomen and a womanly chest. What really matters is how I perceive myself and how we each perceive ourselves internally. Matching the outside with whats inside is something we all do--whether its through clothing, surgery, or hormones--so that we can live as comfortably as possible among other people.
Me, I try to help others be less confused about this and thus less prone to sadness, violence, and hatred. There are many other things to focus on in this life than what gender another person is presenting, and what you think about how it should be done. We are all the same--all human--and the more we learn about our differences, the more we see those similarities between us. Transgender people continue to be victims of discrimination and violence because being our authentic selves challenge other people's preconceived notions on sex and gender. In fact, in the past I, myself, have been mistreated plenty because of it, both professionally and personally. However my point here is that we all have these transgender qualities to a limited degree, and my struggle and stance has more in common with your own than maybe you might have realized.