But today is my birthday! Hooraaaay! I have not celebrated it since I was about four years old, so even simply acknowledging it is a glorious break in routine for me. So, I thought I would take that mighty step just the teeniest bit further by posting a little something today about my routine.
Now about seven to eight long months ago it seemed I was in a spiffy little transgender cocoon. I didn't have many commitments aside from my children. I couldn't find work because I was still waiting for my name and gender change to go through, and most employers, wrongfully and discriminately might I add, will not hire a half-baked transsexual--no, silly, not stoned--I mean that in the sense of I am a transsexual that's still transitioning. So, I just couldn't find work.
This, as most of you know, led me begin stripping and escorting at a small hole-in-the-wall down in Miami, just so I could get money to live. Ugh--not to have issue with anyone that chooses to do these things (in fact at the beginning it was definitely a thrilling and sensual experience to be dancing on stage and be lusted after), but it was definitely an emotionally destructive experience for me in the end--as I imagine it is for most. But that's another story better covered at a better time.
Back on topic, before that, my time was not so divided as it is now. I spent my time on housework, my kids, and on myself--on my transition. I didn't get out much apart from going to the grocery store. I had time to wake up and leisurely feed the children as I spent inordinate amounts of time learning how to apply makeup and do my hair, trying different exfoliants and creams, and looking up YouTube videos on such things. My legs were rarely unshaven and my nails were always bright and beautiful. You know--I did that teenage girl thing that should have happened 13 years prior. :p
The only thing that was missing was the whole social experience. Working with other strippers and now with other cashiers has successively made up for all that though. The big difference is that now--with the job, the children, the roommates, the ongoing transition, and the maintaining of new friends and relationships--I rarely have time to do things outside side of that, such as making videos and blogging. And it has been some time since I've had the ample time to do my nails, I have to admit.
And the routine is just so monotonous sometimes. Parts of it have always been downright annoying to me, and these have just horribly splintered right down into maddening. These being the things I have to do specifically because I am transitioning, such as shaving my face. I realize plenty of women have to do this, but I don't know many twenty-somethings that do. But even if there were, shaving with long hair on a daily basis is just really so annoying. Sometimes I don't know what makes me more dysphoric, seeing the and feeling the facial hair, or the necessary act of shaving it off every morning. In fact, with the progress I 've made over the past 14 months, the whole thing just feels and looks quite ridiculous, as you can see in the photo I've now made my little self a spectacle in above.I'm lucky. I have blonde, scarcely noticable facial hair. I didn't have too much facial hair from the start, and I've rid myself of about 40% of that, so I'm closing in on bare-faced bliss. But at $90 an electrolysis appointment, with money as hard to come by as it has been, it may be some time before I reach hairless heaven (please stop me).
So now on my birthday I'm taking a brake from routine and not shaving it. A little gift to myself which I will soon detest as my face swarms with icky itchiness (I did say "please," you know). In fact, I think its about that time. And I have to get ready for work now anyways. Which I really do enjoy.
Cheers to living life, people. Here's to making time for the things you love. Whatever monotony you have in your life, make sure it serves its purpose, and allow yourself a break from it. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!