But upon viewing the painting, the first person to lay eyes on it expressed love and wonder for it, and asked to buy it. The artist did not want to part with it, because she could not understand his reaction, and wanted time to look over her art again herself. She agreed to copy the painting for the astounded man. When the man, in return, asked what she called her painting, the artist, with little hesitation, thoughtfully replied:
"A Blind Effort"
However, it was not long before "A Blind Effort" was being talked about everywhere, and with critical acclaim. Everyone who saw it admired it for its mysterious formlessness, and its seeming mastery of subtle color. People saw a glut of ideas and meaning within the piece, and praised the artist for her understanding, and her unfathomably rich heart. However, the artist herself could never be happy with her piece. She knew this was not her best effort and was ultimately, barely an effort at all. It did not truly represent her.
It literally was her blindest effort.
Eventually, although this original painting had made her famous, as she produced more and time went on, the initial intense love for "A Blind Effort" which the public had first felt, slowly cooled off. It remained an interesting work to see and discuss from time to time, but it fell out of conversation and high popularity, and eventually, its likeness entered into public domain.
Over the years that followed, as the artist had continued to peer into her painting, still fixed to the wall of her gallery, attempting again and again to understand herself and the true vision held between the work and her own truth--the insight and magic that everyone else saw--she suddenly noticed something entirely new. She saw something deeply recessed inside of its colors. She saw something hidden she could pull out of the painting that represented her completely, in a way that no other work ever had managed to. In a flurry she erupted with new passion, and got to work mixing colors and brushing in new textures. She added new beautiful hues that had no comparison, working for hours until finally she felt the work was finished.
She at last felt satisfied. This was her masterpiece.
In the end, the painting barely resembled the original. Near all of the painting's form and lines were still present, but they had warped into a clear, kind embrace of the colors, which were even more vibrant and now alluring, and beckoning. There was a sweet, gorgeous certainty and personification to it, and not so much of a swirling formless mystery. She renamed the painting "Authenticity" and rehung it in the same spot in her now world-famous gallery.
Unfortunately, reception to what she had chosen to do to the original painting was increasingly mixed, and largely unfavorable. Fans of her prior work held stern, grim faces at the recreation as they scrutinized it. Critics insisted that instead of creating something gorgeously real and emotionally tangible, the artist had simply ruined "A Blind Effort" and all of its original glory. Most refused to even call "Authenticity" by that name, the name the artist knew her work to be honest and worthy of. Most commented that the artist was this unfortunate perfectionist, a narcissist who had gone insane and ruined her first and greatest achievement, in a brash haste of neediness and obtusely dramatic wantonness.
Museums sought out duplicates of the original. Collectors commissioned other talents to recreate it to the best of their ability. There was an iron desire by the world to pay stubborn and resistant homage to each and every person's forgotten beloved interpretation of "A Blind Effort." And copyrights were claimed and infringed as the courts became involved and were petitioned, and the artist was called before judge in hearing after hearing pertaining to the intellectual property rights the original painting of "A Blind Effort". The artist's only real response was to the inquiries was to insist that the new painting please be referred to as "Authenticity", which was simply overruled and overlooked. It was clearly a defacement of a work of public domain.
The denial and the name calling were piercing. The insistence that what belongs to the public was what was real, rather than how any artist identifies it, was suffocating. The assertion that her blind effort was real and important, and not her kind and honest "Authenticity", was a heavy and hammered wedge, as it pulled apart the artist's very self-identity, into various tattered shreds of self. The name she chose was denied by authorities and rarely spoken, and the work was near completely rejected. It was a wreck on her soul, and on her existence. She cried and stayed indoors as no one seemed to accept the painting, nor by extension, truly accept her and her meaning. Her truly honest and bold and inspired effort, made with eyes and heart wide open, was stifled and relegated to being the greatest controversy to the world at that time. And thereafter, she and all of her were simply all but forgotten.
Only a few stood up for her vision, defending her right as to create what she could be happy with, and would be satisfied with, in herself. Only very few understood and could see that the deep, insistent lines now present cradling the hopeful color within the new offering, signified surety, intent, and identity in a way "A Blind Effort" could never hope to achieve. Very few loved the artist's "Authenticity", but those that did were entranced and enthralled by it. Those that truly gave it a chance were captured in the raw feeling of it, a passionate inspiration that most had never before known themselves. By a few, "Authenticity" was deeply cherished. And it is tragic that of these few, the artist knew of even fewer. And this is how her story ended, a controversy caught between the most luminous and the most poignant of souls.
Each woman that has lived knows this feeling of being treated like nothing more than a pretty or mysterious painting to interpret or even own, and nothing deeper. We all fight this together, or add to it together, whether we know it or not. But if no one is questioning your name or existence, be thankful. Every person should be thankful if they have never known that level of objectification. If the sense of self--even more, your name--is not an ongoing public controversy, be truly thankful. To have that win is some people’s deepest hope.
